Notice: The beatings will continue until morals improve

 a few days ago as my physiology teacher was rambling on about little life lessons and his army days he happened to say somthing that really caught my attention : fort lost in the woods in the state of misery. he said that was what they called the base they were stationed at in his army days (it was in the state of Missouri, in case you didn't catch that). at first i thought it was a pretty funny reffrence to the fort and the state but then i really thought about and i found that it really spoke  to my current state of mind. lost in a state of misery. i don't know how many people out there agree with me but when you're completly lost in life it seems like even when you laughing your hardest you're still not happy.

without any direction or even a speck of an idea as to where you're going your stuck in this foggy state of misery and pain. i don't feel like doing anything and doing nothing upsets me. i don't want to sleep because it's a waste of time (time i could really use) and yet sleep is my only escape into a world i can control. i don't want to eat anything because it all tast like metal, but i kind of need food because i'm like human and all. and i reall ydon't want to be around people (especially people in the same mood as me), but i fear being alone and isolated.

fort lost in the woods in the state of misery. it's a labyrinth with dead ends at each turn and happiness is word that no longer fits in your vocabulary. it's a place we all enter at some point in our lives but most of us find our way out, our direction in life. i only wish i could be one of those lucky ones who finds thier way before it's too late. it's really stressful living with the thought that in a few short months i'll be starting college and i have no idea what i'm going to do when i get there or when i leave. i just need to try harder to find my way. i gusse.